Getting a Dog Won’t Get You Out of Depression
But it will surely get you out of the house
A common misconception among those who are struggling and trying to get better is that any pet can be an emotional support animal. And although not completely wrong, this won’t work out in all cases.
Puppies are a lot of work. Getting a puppy at your lowest is even more work. When you’re struggling to take care of yourself it’s going to be extra challenging taking care of another living being. And that’s a very easy concept to grasp for anybody fighting depression/PTSD/whatever — yet it’s often overlooked by the incredibly false and ultra-positive self-care movement. I have seen way too many social media posts claiming that a dog or cat will solve all your problems.
But if you’re really in a dark place, they will most likely only add to them.
Having a family pet is a whole different story. In a way, you get to enjoy all the benefits and cuddles of a fluffy friend loving you unconditionally with minimal effort. There’s always someone else around who can help you out whenever you’re overwhelmed or too stressed. But living alone and getting a dog means all of those efforts are solely yours to make.
I didn’t know puppy blues were a free added bonus to getting my dog. I was in excruciating emotional distress for a week after she entered the home. I loved her so much already and wanted the best for her, but would burst into tears each time I saw her small little self sprinting down the hallway. I had wanted her so much and waited so long to finally have her as part of our family. But then felt so guilty about it all as soon as I held her in my arms. My partner couldn’t leave for more than ten minutes without me having a panic attack. It was so bad all the guilt and shame had made me suicidal. My fiancè and I talked a lot about the possibility of rehoming her but ended up keeping her when I started feeling better. And thank god we did.
But the stress didn’t stop there. It took weeks and weeks of long work to potty train her, to figure out what was wrong with her digestion, to make sure she had gone through all the needed checkups, to socialize her, to comfort her whenever she needed it, to bond with her, to teach her how to walk on a leash, and so much more. Whenever you think you’re done with training, something new comes up. As a puppy, she would attack our feet first thing in the morning to the point where you couldn’t walk around barefoot unless you wanted bloody toes. She grew out of it, then developed the habit of believing the couch is only hers if she’s on it, and she’d do everything in her power to make sure you can’t sit there. We resolved that issue too, and she seemed to be doing great, then developed the habit of launching at my legs when leaving the dog park. Once that was worked through, she tore half of the couch apart while trying to get the balls she had tried so hard to put underneath it. Then she started hanging onto long sleeves of anybody who was petting her and even tore holes in a couple of strangers’ shirts. Now that that’s resolved, I’m sure she’ll find a new destructive hobby we’ll have to train her out of.
My point is — the work never stops. Having a puppy means you’re in full-time what-do-they-need and what-the-fuck-are-they-doing mode. This amount of effort is the least you could do for your beloved pet, but it’s overlooked by the whole “a dog will make you feel better” thing.
If you’re struggling a pet won’t be an easy way out of your problems. Just like you, they require attention, help, work, and care. And drowning in their needs is a very real possibility. It obviously isn’t ideal for a variety of reasons. Most importantly because if that were to happen, you could end up neglecting yourself while trying not to neglect your pet. That’s not a cure for your issues.
A dog will bring you so much joy, really.
You will also have to be ready to wake up at 5 am if they’re having intestinal problems, to go out for a walk no matter what you’re doing, and to spend a lot of time and energy on them. Is it worth it? Absolutely. Are you really ready for that? That’s up to you to decide.
If you can, please consult with your therapist about getting an emotional support animal. Their insight could be precious and help you make the best decision in this situation.
And maybe, just maybe, if you’re looking for a puppy, don’t get a crazy high-energy dog if getting out of bed is an everyday struggle for you. You have options, really. Keep those open.
